Klingo

A glossary of terms/slangs/inside references from the Kommunity of people living on that beautiful hill at Kunnamangalam, which unlike Klingon isn’t artificial but simply endemic to the socio-climatic conditions of the hill.

[Originally attempted to crowdsource during the first wave of the pandemic to reflect on times before it, left as WIP when corporate life got in the way, sharing as is after thinking a lot about K after an unfortunate incident got all classmates together]

· 23:59:59 — The point from which the operations management at NC goes for a toss owing to a sudden glut of hungry assignment-submitters.

· 8 hours — The minimum amount of sleep that is prescribed to the freshers by a well-rounded member of faculty while the system plays a cruel joke on them.

· Backwaters — The scenic houseboat filled reverse flowing channels of water 250 km away to which the Kommunity makes a quick escape when a fest of the same name happens.

· Batch Group — Seat of power of the SCon, a crude replacement for an airport ride-share app that sometimes provides in-app entertainment options including but not limited to photos of dogs attacking garbage bins and bugs in mess food. [see SCon]

· Big Cat — Mythical beast that has been varyingly described as with and without spots on gold or even light pink coat on itself. Grapevine says that it is a part of a grand conspiracy forged by the auto-drivers association which controls the administrative office.

· Boozecomm — The best supply chain live-project available on campus that is known to be efficient in facing roadblocks head on in a quest to add some life to Pub-less Kozhikode via Mahe.

· Cartel — Mafioso fantasy of the inmates is purportedly behind the etymology of calling your hostel group this, but is involved in one of the two major bidding events in campus

· Chetta/Chechi — The only two words in Malayalam that the ones from outside Kerala learn in the two years, the sweetest people you can meet in Kampus.

· Committees — Benami front organizations of the local tee-shirt manufacturing racket that have been reported to have hosted more parties than meetings

· Cohort — People you haven’t met IRL but share a WhatsApp group and financial burden with.

· DCP — i. Intrusion to when you were catching up on sleep aided by ambient background sounds from the professor by thoughtless gibberish that is unlikely to be related to the discussion

o ii. A sure-shot sign that you are not the kind to cause above mentioned intrusions and that you might need to in the future to save your skin from DPP

· DPP — What happens when you get too many of the second kind of DCPs to your sheet, bad but working excuse to stay back for one more year

· DebChat — Commander-in-chief of the Komrades, known for fancifully worded lectures that he sometimes likes to give out a day before final placements.

· Echoes — A rare occasion in which the sex-ratio touches the fabled 50:50 owing to the simultaneous descent of contingents from a nearby fashion school and exodus of testosterone to the beaches of Varkala.

· FPM — (in the words of a Professor, who was once one himself at an IIM faraway) the OOPS in the system or those who are Outside Of the Placement System and can be seen frequenting areas sparsely populated by the PGPs like the library and faculty chambers.

· ForEx — A 3-month (mostly) European vacation that extends your debt for another year and a half but promises to be a suitable answer to the evergreen Why MBA?. Sorry PGP23. [see Why MBA?]

· GP — The lone long running successful restaurant which owes no small part of their profits to the lows that the mess continues to defy

· IAM Kunnamangalam — The proper name for campus according to RedBus and the declaration that you have to search for to set as the boarding point for those Bangalore trips.

· K — 11th letter of the alphabet;

o indicator that the risky text you sent shouldn’t have been;

o weapon of choice for bastardization of any word when applied to a Kampus k̶o̶n̶t̶e̶x̶t̶ context and those tasked with naming it are at their wit’s end — Kampus,Kommunity,Konsult,Konquest etc.

· Lissy — the little smoke filled culinary respite at Karanthur, for the Malayalis in Kampus who are served foreign food on their home turf, and the rest of the meat eating population who are served meals made by other Malayalis who don’t know how to make them.

· Margin Free store — A monopoly on the desolate hill which deceivingly convinces the newly arrived batch that they sell goods at a discount

· Maggi — (spelled Yippee), an act of defiance that was carried out by hungry and sleep-deprived PPT attendees who had their fill of corporate appeasement for a day. [see Yippee]

· Mathew — self-proclaimed Anarchist who (attempts to) destroy(s) insensitive points of view through his baritone and parallel cinema.

· Men In Black — The real power-centres, as described by one of the professors who was pointed to an SCon when asked for a leader in the class, authority appointed auditors of dressing and beard growing habits of those at Kampus

· Monad — Dimly lit venue of choice in the Kunnamangalam metropolis that bears witness to several last-ditch mating rituals/dances in the accompaniment of spirits and fish-fingers.

· NA — Default surname allocated by the High Priests among the Men In Black to ones without one and are often confused to be initials later on.

· Pizza Korner — A knocked down version of Pizza Hut that (in)adequately satiates the Italian food cravings of citizens of the bustling metropolis that is Kunnamangalam on Wednesdays.

· PGP — Common reference to the hall near which Amazon/Flipkart orders and the delivery boys who bring them wait;

o A pitying identifier that loan free FPM students make to the majority around them.

· PPO — The lowest rung of Maslov’s hierarchy of needs for a student back from the internship, even lower than Wi-Fi.

· PPI — consolation that one who doesn’t attain Nirvana with the above can hope for.

· PPP — (according to the faculty with the best hairstyle) Post Placement Performance, or a gentle reminder that the PPs don’t leave your life when you graduate.

· PPT — Unrelated to Microsoft except for being the creators of the standard mode of presentation and an instance before Summers 2018 when a particularly hot HR made people wish they were attending it for once.

· Reliance — Reference to where the Chillcomm/PPOed source Doritos to go with the Netflix binge rituals before a 23:59:59;

o (in Gujju-speak) the dream company that Aamdavadis stuck in Kozhikode want to ascend to.

· Roobaroo — Officially ‘Section Wars’ following an (in)accurate report in a vernacular newspaper that this is a cover for a set-up that is akin to ragging.

· SCon — Aspiring socialites in training who need to smile and engage with enough people to ensure re-election which bestows on them the great responsibility of forwarding messages from one batch-group to the other. [see Batch Group]

· SAC — What AlComm rechristened itself as after consultation with an astrologist who prophesied that retaining the old name will cause eternal subjugation under the reins of the above SCon.

· Sacrosanct — What deadlines are(n’t) as can be seen by the frequent occurrence of their revisal, one of 10 most used words by SCon during the time before Roobaroo

· Sangamam — Point of rendezvous of hungry revelers after a batch party owing to being the only place in Kunnamangalam that stays awake late enough to see such sights.

· Seaqueen — The best place in Calicut to go for a drink while looking at the beach and come back as invertebrates in pre-arranged autos.

· Section Party — at first instance, an all-out attempt at the left behinds of the senior batch to couple themselves with the gullible new-entrants. Second instance and then on, are excuses to drink and try forgetting about their fate by the left behinds in the junior batch.

· Sign-out Form — chief weapon used by the Men In Black to erase memory of any of their transgressions and/or make anyone toe their line. [see Men In Black]

· Summers — formerly season of mangoes, is now a reference to a peculiar event post monsoon with swears, fears and tears

· Suresh — solitary post-midnight juice stop in Calicut. Gained popularity for their shakes named after places — Karachi,Abudha; currently attempting to replicate the success with ones named after pretty girls in the locality-Noora, Saboora.

· Sweekar — Inviting, as the name suggests for all as a gateway to the Malabar Biriyani and greasy Shwaramas

· TA — The unfortunate souls who have to sit through 3 often uninterrupted sessions of Strategic Management.

· Triple 9 — Proof on your CV that you have endured the prerequisite amount of sadness in life that is required to survive in Finance

· Why MBA? — A questioned you face right from the day of your admission interview to those late nights of Day 3 and possibly an alumni reunion

· Yippee — (pronounced Maggi), cause for deep bruise on the Men In Black’s collective ego circa 2018. [see Maggi]

Inspired by — “Akkan Just Miss”; Picture Credits- Yasasvi